Attitudes - Know the Difference

It is important for us to have the "right attitudes" in life. What are these right attitudes? Being confident, being optimistic and thinking critically are some common answers. However, there is the saying that "too much of a good thing is bad". In this case, if we over indulge in any of these good attitudes, we will actually be having bad attitudes. The line between these "right attitudes" and their corresponding "wrong attitudes" is really so thin that we might not even notice that we have crossed over it. In order to adopt the right attitude in life, I believe that we need to know the difference between these attitudes and try to guard ourselves from crossing this line.

Self-confidence vs Arrogance

Firstly, I shall talk about self-confidence. Self-confidence is to believe in oneself. Confident people reap rewards because they believe in their own ability to get the job done well. Furthermore, other people will also tend to believe in confident people. People are naturally drawn towards confident people. Believing yourself and having others believe in you increases your efficiency and ability to handle daily tasks, leading you towards success.

On the other hand, over-confidence can be destructive. Another word for over-confidence is arrogance. While arrogance also involves believing in oneself, it is at the expense of others. An arrogant person believes himself to be superior to those around him. He tends to look down on others. These type of people believes that only their methods and ways of thinking are the right ones and will try to "correct" others who are difference from them. They also like ordering people to show that they are "superior". This type of people are like "oppressive rulers". They usually have difficult relationships with those around them. Their reluctance to admit their mistakes also lengthens their path towards success.

Optimism vs Unrealistic Optimism

Optimism is always trying to see the better side of things, to spot "the silver lining" in any event that has occurred. Optimistic people have hope that things will take a better turn as long as they continue on. Being optimistic allows one not to persevere through challenges and obstacles in life, eventually leading one to achieve success. It also makes the path to success more enjoyable. Optimistic people live in a "brighter world".

However, unrealistic optimism is undesirable. Unrealistic optimism is to be optimistic to the point of being unrealistic and irrational. It is impossible for one to be optimistic all the time. One has to recognize dangers and difficulties to come in order to move on successfully. People who are unrealistically optimistic tend to brush setbacks away instead of learning from their mistakes. They also tend to "sit and wait" for the situation to turn better instead of taking any actions to make sure of the positive change. For example, smokers who are unrealistically optimistic believe that they are less likely to contract lung cancer or disease than other smokers. Thus, they refuse to stop smoking. They are in denial that anything bad can happen to them at all. This is dangerous and will prevent people from achieving success in life.

Critical Thinking vs Pessimism

In schools, we are taught to engage in critical thinking. Critical thinking is the purposeful and reflective judgement about what to believe or what to do in response to observations, experience, verbal or written expressions, or arguments. It teaches us not to blindly believe but also to analyse situations. It also lets us consider both sides of the coin before diving into making a decision. It helps us make the right decisions in life and leads us towards success.
It is important to note that being critical is different from being pessimistic. Pessimistic thinking is always thinking the worse. It is a state of mind which negatively colors the perception of life, especially with regard to future events. There are costs to a pessimistic vision of ourselves. A one-sided negative view often induces discouragement. Individuals would see themselves as inadequate and incapable of taking charge of their lives. Pessimistic people are not motivated enough to put in effort in their daily tasks. Thus, they have difficulties achieving success.

In conclusion, we need to constantly evaluate our own attitudes in life. If we notice ourselves straying from healthy attitudes by over indulging in them, we need to guide ourselves back onto "the right path". Only through constant self reflections and evaluations can we learn from our mistakes and step closer to achieving our goals in life.